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My ex wants to move out of state with our child

February 8, 2022 · by Pittsburgh Family Law Services, P.C.

it is increasingly common to move out of our hometowns in our global world. Many leave their families to go to college and end up staying there. Others “go where the money takes them” and move across the country for work. It is only natural that families form in places where one spouse has no family nearby. When the relationship breaks apart though, problems may arise. A suddenly single parent can quickly become overwhelmed at having no family nearby. It is often after a separation that one parent wants to move out of state to be closer to her support system. This feeling is understandable, but raises numerous questions for the other parent. “Can she take our child with her,” “is she allowed to move,” and “will I ever see our child again” are questions that parents bring to us when they are served with relocation paperwork.

The Relocation Timeline

First, a word on how quickly a relocation matter proceeds. In Pennsylvania, absent unusual circumstances, parents must give at least 60 days’ notice to the other before they move. This means that a parent cannot tell you that tomorrow they’re moving to Florida with your child and be in compliance with the relocation statute. In the rare circumstances where it is not possible to give 60 days’ notice, the parent has to provide reasons. A mere “I didn’t know I had to give that much notice” will not suffice.

Once the parent files a relocation petition, the other has 30 days to object. If you object, you will appear in front of a judge. Relocation matters are supposed to be “expedited.” In my experience however, this is not to be misconstrued as occurring quickly. In many counties throughout Pennsylvania, you will be waiting for months before going to trial.

It is possible that a judge will allow the parent to move sooner pending the trial. This is most common if the parent staying in Pennsylvania does not have overnights. It also happens if there is a safety concern. But in the majority of cases, judges do not grant this permission.

Except in very unusual circumstances, you can rest assured that your children will not move out of state anytime soon. If you are exercising regular custody of your children, this is almost always the case.

Who gets to move?

I always remind my clients that the real problem isn’t the parent moving. Judges cannot stop adults from choosing to live where they want. In fact, it is good to assume that the parent will ultimately move away. The problem is that the parent wants to move with the child. When a judge denies a relocation, she is not forcing the parent to remain in Pennsylvania. Instead, she’s ruling that the child cannot move with the parent.

Because you should assume your ex will ultimately move, it’s important to ask whether you’re in a position to exercise primary custody. Most parents would be able to do so, even if it would require some juggling in their schedules. However, there are times when this is not realistic. For example, a parent may not have stable housing, or be actively involved in drug and alcohol rehabilitation, or not have reliable childcare. Any of these scenarios may make primary custody difficult. It is important to consider whether you can exercise primary custody because there will be no order preventing your ex from moving without your child.

Of course, once you decide you could care for the children on your own, you likely want to know what a judge has to consider.

Relocation factors

In addition to the regular 16 custody factors, a judge has to consider various factors in a relocation case. These include your relationship with your child, and whether you can maintain it if your child moves. The judge also looks at the benefits to the parent and the child in moving. For now, I will only focus on these three factors.

Preserving the relationship depends on how much you see your children now, and how much you are likely to see them if they move with your ex. If you are currently exercising custody every other weekend, it may be possible to see them just as much if your ex moves an hour away. It may not be the exact same schedule, but your time will not be reduced. If you share custody though, moving an hour away will require that you see them less than you do now. There is no set rule on how far is “too far” to interfere with your relationship. It is very case-specific and also depends on your child’s age and your financial circumstances. The vast majority of families simply cannot afford to fly every month from Pennsylvania to Florida even if they want to do so.

Judges do consider whether the relocation benefits your ex. In the vast majority of cases, the answer to this question will be “yes.” Parents often want to move to be closer to family, or because the cost of living is lower, or because they may earn more income. These are all legitimate reasons for a parent to desire to move. Often, there is no dispute that relocating would be in the parent’s best interest.

However, a relocation is not just about what is best for the parent. Ultimately it has to be in the child’s best interest. Judges consider whether your child will have any personal, financial, or educational benefits. Being around extended family in a new state is usually very positive! But, it has to be weighed in connection with changing schools and your children leaving their friends and family in Pennsylvania. If your children are thriving with healthy relationships in Pennsylvania, that has to be balanced against the unknown of moving to a new city.

Your child’s opinion on moving

Depending on how old your children are, the judge may want to speak with them. Many parents wanting to move say their children want to do so as well. It’s true that many times children do support moving. Moving to a new home requires a large financial and emotional investment and most parents would not do it if they thought their children would say no.

Your child’s opinion is not the final word though. Younger children may not appreciate how far away they would move, and how much would change. Their reasons for wanting or not wanting to move are also varied. A judge will look at the situation differently if the child says “I want to move to Florida so I can go to Disney World” versus “I’ve been bullied a lot up here and moving to a new place will let me start over.”

Key takeaways

Relocation cases are among the most contentious because there is rarely a “meet in the middle” point. There are numerous factors judges consider and no guaranteed outcome. If you are facing a relocation issue, it is good to consider whether you can exercise primary custody and what the benefits will be for your children if they move. It goes without saying that this is not a process you should undertake on your own! By thinking through the various relocation factors, you can help your custody lawyer craft a strong objection to the relocation.

What to try before filing a guardianship petition

January 14, 2022 · by Pittsburgh Family Law Services, P.C.

I posted briefly about how a guardianship can be helpful if your loved one is unable to make decisions for herself. But before petitioning for guardianship, I always caution families to make sure it really is the best resort that serves your loved one’s needs. There is no set list of what medical conditions require a guardian to be appointed. The majority of people with disabilities are able to live independently and ask for assistance as needed on their own. Merely having a disability does not require an order taking away an adult’s autonomy and ability to make decisions. When you ask the court to be appointed as a guardian, you will specifically need to identify what other steps you have taken, and why those measures do not meet your family member’s needs. There are a few options that may be available to help your loved one:

Power of attorney– A power of attorney for financial or medical decisions are part of standard estate planning, and are some of the most important documents you can have. The documents designate someone to make decisions on your behalf if you are unable to do so. You can even specify that if a guardian needs to be appointed, that it be the same person you designate in your powers of attorney. These documents require the person signing them to be competent, and able to make their own decisions. Having a power of attorney in place can be a lifeline if someone suffers a sudden medical emergency which leaves her unable to communicate or understand what she is being told.

Community support services– Sometimes an adult may need help in specific areas of daily living, but is otherwise able to function independently. Depending on where you live, there may be various types of community support options available. Home care workers can visit regularly to make sure someone is taking prescribed medication at the proper dosages. For adults who struggle with handling money or bank accounts, there are money management supports which can help to monitor bank account activity.

Family support– In many cases, adults with special needs already have substantial supports from their immediate and extended family, and no court involvement is ever necessary. These individuals may be physically healthy and receiving Social Security Disability or other benefits through a representative payee and live with their family members. Their doctors and other providers may know who their family support members are and they are willing to communicate with those family members. In those circumstances, they may not need a guardianship if their needs are already being met.

Of course, not every incapacitated adult’s needs can be met outside of a formal guardianship, and that process is available to those who need it. But before filing a legal pleading, it is best to consider what your loved one’s needs really are, whether they are being met right now, and whether they are unable to be met in the absence of a court order. Taking the time to ask these questions will not only enable you better assist your family member, it will also help you articulate for the court what other measures you have considered and why they are not effective.

Why you should have an estate plan in Pennsylvania (even if you think you don’t need one)

December 29, 2021 · by Pittsburgh Family Law Services, P.C.

I have long said that every adult in Pennsylvania needs an estate plan.  When lawyers talk about “estate planning,” most people think of just writing a simple Will and nothing else.  Because of that, many people understandably, but incorrectly believe that having one is unnecessary.  Reasons include “not having any assets,” “having too much debt” or “I’m young and healthy and don’t need to think about this right now.” 

Creating an estate plan with an attorney involves more than just writing up a Will.  In our practice, we discuss a Will, Durable (financial) Power of Attorney, Healthcare Power of Attorney (“Living Will”), and potentially other related documents depending on your situation.  The purpose of an estate plan is to tell others what you want to see happen when you are unable to speak for yourself either due to disability or death.  If you do not have a Will, there is already a default estate plan in place:  Pennsylvania sets out specific distributions as to “who gets what” if you pass away.  If you want to leave a donation to a charity, or you want to provide for a sibling or a beloved niece or nephew, you need to have a Will because those individuals may not be entitled to anything under Pennsylvania’s default law. 

But perhaps even more than a Will, it is critical that you have a designated financial and healthcare agent via a Power of Attorney.  In any given year, it is far more likely that you will become temporarily disabled than pass away and designating someone to act on your behalf ensures that your financial needs are met and that your wishes concerning healthcare decisions will be met.  Selecting someone to handle your finances ensures that your bills will be paid, and your financial accounts will be managed by someone you trust to be responsible.  Selecting a healthcare agent means that if you are unable to make medical decisions for yourself, that your desires about treatment and even end of life care will be respected. 

In the absence of speaking with and appointing someone to act on your behalf, Pennsylvania sets aside specific guidelines about who will make those decisions for you.  That default person may or may not respect your wishes or may not even know what your wishes are.  It may be unlikely to happen, but every year family members unwittingly authorize, withhold, and withdraw medical treatment against someone’s wishes simply because those wishes were never discussed. 

Without a financial power of attorney, your family members may be forced to resort to court intervention to enable them to access your accounts and pay bills if you are unable to do so.  This is often a lengthy process and how long that process takes depends just as much on the court docket as it does on the skill of a lawyer.  In that time, bills may remain unpaid, and you could experience severe financial consequences.  Designating a responsible family member or friend to immediately handle these matters for you will preserve your assets and protect your credit. 

Having a well-crafted estate plan gives you a voice during times when you cannot speak for yourself.  It gives your family security and knowledge about what you want to happen so they do not have to guess the right decision during such a difficult time.  An estate plan can always be changed as your needs and priorities change, and there is no need to wait until the “perfect” moment to create one. 

The change to Pennsylvania divorce law, and what it means to you

October 6, 2016 · by Pittsburgh Family Law Services, P.C.

Divorce Attorney for Pittsburgh, Squirrel Hill, Penn Hills & surrounding area
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Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. – John F. Kennedy

On October 4, 2016 Pennsylvania Governor Tom Wolf signed into law House Bill 380 of 2015, which reduced the waiting period for an “Irretrievable Breakdown” no-fault divorce ground from two years after the spouses separate, to only one. The change took effect on December 5, 2016.

The way we were: two year separation before divorce in PA.
Pennsylvania has two “no-fault” divorce grounds: Mutual Consent, and Irretrievable Breakdown. Mutual Consent requires no particular length of separation, but does require the active cooperation of the spouses, and either spouse can bring the divorce process to a screeching halt simply by refusing to sign the divorce consent forms. If there is no mutual consent, grounds for divorce of Mutual Consent simply cannot be established, that remains true even after Pennsylvania’s divorce law change goes into effect.

For the divorce-filing spouse in Pennsylvania who wants to move things forward anyway, but who cannot establish old-fashioned “fault” grounds (such as adultery) against a spouse, that leaves only the Irretrievable Breakdown divorce ground. Irretrievable Breakdown does not require consent, but does require not only that the marriage be irretrievably broken (no surprise) but also that two or more years have passed from the date of the parties’ final separation. Divorce is never “automatic” after two years in Pennsylvania; this is a common misconception. In most cases, the two-year separation simply means that your spouse’s refusal to consent to divorce stops being a barrier against your moving forward toward closure.  At the two-year mark, your spouse’s non-cooperation changes from “You shall not pass!” into “Whatever, do what you have do.”

“New wave divorce” in Pennsylvania: the two-year wait gets cut in half.
For married couples in Pennsylvania who separated on or after December 5, 2016, the Irretrievable Breakdown ground for divorce will require only one year of living separate and apart for one spouse to be able to proceed toward a divorce decree without the other spouse’s consent. It is not an exaggeration to say that this is a major game-changer.

Please note that married couples who separated before December 5, 2016 must still have a full two years of separation to establish grounds for divorce under “irretrievable breakdown.”

How will the change in Pennsylvania law affect my divorce?
Imagine that you live in PA and are married-but-separated, and that you are economically dependent upon your spouse (which might be your exact situation). You might already know that Pennsylvania law allows you to file for spousal support without also having to file a claim against your spouse for divorce. Once you have been to court and your spouse is required to pay support money to you each month, you are effectively being paid to do nothing at all when it comes to cooperating with a divorce process. What do you do next?

In most cases you do what you are being paid to do, of course: nothing… nothing at all. Your spouse can go ahead and file for divorce, but you have no obligation to sign the consent forms that would let the divorce process move forward under Mutual Consent. Unless you have a compelling reason to file for divorce yourself (and sometimes those reasons exist), if you are like most people you will end up stretching your advantage until your spouse can move things forward anyway under the Irretrievable Breakdown ground.

The change to Pennsylvania divorce law chops a full twelve months off of that free ride. For people stuck paying spousal support month after month, the reduced waiting period might well be cause for celebration. If on the other hand you are a Pennsylvania spouse who receives support, you now will have a much smaller window of time to get your finances and your life together and to decide “what you want to be when you grow up,” before you can be compelled to participate actively in in the process of working your way toward full economic closure for your marriage (possibly including alimony and marital property division).  Since the most successful alimony claims tend to involve a clear plan for improving your economic situation, an economically-dependent spouse’s window of opportunity is now massively reduced.  The same procrastination that would have been your best friend under the old law may now be toxic to the strength of your case.

This change makes it more important than ever before to talk to a local Pennsylvania divorce lawyer sooner rather than later. There is opportunity as well as challenge in every situation, no matter how difficult, and your best chance to take advantage of it only happens if you are willing to be proactive. Where divorce and family law are concerned, an ounce of prevention really can be worth a pound of cure.

If you are in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call our Pittsburgh divorce and family law office for your free consultation by telephone.

Related articles:
How long will my divorce take, if we both want it?
How long will my divorce take, if my spouse won’t agree?
Riding the tiger: the cost of divorce


If you need legal assistance with your divorce or family law matter in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call our office to set up a personal consultation with an experienced Pittsburgh divorce lawyer.  Please do not comment anonymously, and do not post anything that you consider confidential.  We try to be responsive to commentary and questions, but know that posting here will not create an attorney/client relationship and that we will not offer legal advice via the Internet.

Harvest Day: a Lawyer’s Tale

June 16, 2016 · by Pittsburgh Family Law Services, P.C.

Pittsburgh Family Law Lawyer for Divorce, Child Custody and Alimony
CALL 412-371-4500 FOR YOUR FREE CONSULTATION
READ MORE ARTICLES ABOUT FAMILY LAW IN PENNSYLVANIA.

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Oxen plowingOnce upon a time, a group of people from a mighty civilization found themselves united in spirit by a shared compassion over the plight of those who were less fortunate than themselves. Knowing well that most things only change when somebody changes them, they resolved to travel together to a faraway farming village – the first of many, they hoped – to educate the people there in modern agricultural methods that would certainly improve their lives. They made their plans, gathered their supplies and their courage, and set off. Along their travel they often discussed eagerly the grand welcome they would receive upon arriving, and the celebration of a grateful community after the first fruits of their mighty gift became ripe for the harvest.

When at last they reached the village after their long journey, they were astonished and dismayed to find that most of the villagers either viewed them with suspicion, or simply ignored them.  The rest greeted them with haughty anger. “Who are you,” they demanded in various ways, “to come to our home and presume to tell us how we should raise our food? We have been farmers for all of our lives. Our blood is in this land, and this land is in our blood.  We practice faithfully what our fathers and our grandfathers taught us, just as they learned it from their own fathers and grandfathers going back and back to the very beginning of the world. You are obviously fools who would presume to teach your own mothers how to give birth, and if we listened to you we would soon be planting leather so that we might harvest cows! You should go back home to your land of fools and stop bothering us, or stay here and learn from a civilized people the proper way to work the land so that your elders will know that you did not waste your time among us.”

Some of the travelers felt deeply insulted to hear their intentions turned against them. “We came here to do good,” they said among themselves, “but these ungrateful dirt-scratchers are no smarter than their cattle. They live one failed harvest away from watching their own children starve, and yet they spurn the gift we traveled so far to give! And they call us fools? Let us go where people are wise enough to know treasure when they see it, and leave these peasants to eat their arrogance and effrontery when nothing else is left for them to put between their teeth.” Those who felt that way soon departed to nurse their wounded pride, and whatever may have become of them after that is no concern of ours.

The travelers who chose to remain and try again gave sad farewell to their disheartened brethren, and then gathered together in council to think and speak upon the mystery of a good gift casually spurned.  The discussion went long into the night, but finally they thought they understood.  “Even the purest water slakes no thirst if none will trust that it is good,” they decided, “and people prefer to lift cups to their own lips.”  Thus resolved, when morning came they made their plans.

At evening of the same day the newcomers politely approached the village elders with gifts, and requested permission to use as their own a plot of nearby farmland, long fallow and now grown to meadow. “Plant as much leather as you like and buy whatever you need to do it,” the elders responded, laughing, “but we expect you to host a feast for the entire village with the first of the cows you harvest! And if you fail, don’t expect us to fill your empty bellies when the season turns.”

The travelers moved their belongings to the land that was now theirs to work, and for several months they and the villagers left each other quite alone.  That was just fine with the villagers; a good joke was welcome now and again, but there was always work to be done: crops and children to raise, cattle and children to feed, and pots and children to shape and harden to readiness for the tasks awaiting them.

The days came and went as always, until after several months the strangers returned to seek out the elders and to invite the whole village to gather at the next full moon for the promised feast. The appointed night came amidst much gossip and speculation, and the curious villagers flocked to the appointed gathering place to discover an astonishing bounty waiting for them. Here were the largest fruits they had ever seen, nearly free from blemish and sweet as a baby’s laughter. Here were roasted vegetables in seemingly endless quantity, their savory odors perfuming the air. Here was fresh bread, with a flavor at once unfamiliar and enticing. Here was oiled meat spiced with herbs. There was food enough to feed half again the number of people who dwelled in that place.  Amidst surprised laughter and excited chatter, the feasting began.

Later, when there were none who could swallow another morsel and the strangers’ unusually flavorful beer had filled each cup several times over, an elder quietly approached one of the newcomers. “This is amazing,” he said.  “I would accuse you of feeding us upon our own stolen food and drink, except that I know we cannot grow what you have grown or brew as you have brewed. How did you do it?”

“I shall not tell you,” the traveler replied. “We plan to become very rich from selling our produce and our beer. If you learn to do things the way we do them, people will buy from you and not from us because you are so well-known and respected, while we are strangers.”

“Please, I must know. We both shall benefit. I will pay you the year-wage of three laborers to learn what you do.”

“I cannot. I must not. If my people found out that it was I who gave away our secrets, they would beat me and cast me out.”

“I swear on the honor of my grandfathers’ grandfathers and my grandmothers’ grandmothers that I shall tell no one of how I learned. Year-wage of five laborers.”

“You ask me to risk my life, for five! How could I do such a thing for less than ten?

“Seven.”

“Eight, and you protect me if my people find out.”

“Done, but only half up front and the other half when I see it work.”

“Done! I will visit your farm at midnight during each new moon until harvest. Remember, tell no one.”

* * *

Two weeks later, the travelers on their borrowed farm finished their labors for the day and gathered at sunset for the evening meal. Toasts and merry songs added uncommon spice to their dining on that very special occasion, and the merriment continued until long after the stars began their bright dance through the moonless sky. Outside the noisy hall in a line along the fence, seven mules waited patiently in the darkness to carry their burdens of seeds, tools and diagrams to seven secret meetings.

Related articles:
Fourteen lines of parting
Arthur’s Axe: a Lawyer’s Tale

If you need legal assistance with your divorce or family law matter in Southwestern Pennsylvania, call my office to set up a personal consultation with a Pittsburgh family court attorney.  Please do not comment anonymously, and do not post anything that you consider confidential.  We try to be responsive to commentary and questions, but know that posting here will not create an attorney/client relationship and that we will not offer legal advice via the Internet.

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  • Attorney Tara L. Hutchinson is a family and divorce lawyer located in the east end of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and serves clients throughout Southwestern Pennsylvania and the Pittsburgh area including the neighborhoods of Squirrel Hill, Shadyside, Monroeville, McKeesport, Edgewood, Penn Hills, Bethel Park, Mount Lebanon, Canonsburg, New Kensington, Greensburg, Murrysville, Turtle Creek, Swissvale, Churchill, Oakmont, Fox Chapel, and Sewickley.

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